Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith have one of the most recognizable families in entertainment. Not only are Smith and Pinkett Smith well-known actors, but their children are working in the business as well. Their daughter Willow is very active on the music scene and their son Jaden has stepped into the acting realm.
It was while pregnant with son Jaden that Pinkett Smith’s life was turned upside down. During an interview, the actress and mother revealed the pregnancy wasn’t planned. She also revealed the change in lifestyle was a difficult adjustment to make.
Pinkett Smith was the co-host of the popular Facebook Watch series Red Table Talk. The show featured open and honest conversations with her mother, daughter and special guests. Over the years, they had many memorable conversations where everything was on the table. Perhaps it is due to this level of honesty that Pinkett Smith felt comfortable enough to talk about the birth of her first child.
Jada Said The Death Of Her Grandmother Caused Her To Seek Protection In Her Relationships
In May 2022, psychologist Kelly McDaniel was interviewed on an episode of Red Table Talk. McDaniel wrote a book titled “Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Health From Lost Nurturance, Protection and Guidance,” which is about the negative effects of dysfunctional maternal bonding.
During the episode, Pinkett Smith said that her grandmother was always a source of safety and protection for her. When her grandmother passed away, Pinkett Smith said that she felt that safety stripped away from her. Pinkett Smith was 13 years old when her grandmother died.
"Once she was gone, there was no safety," Pinkett Smith said. "So then I went into the world to create my own safety."
Smith's mother, Adrienne Banfield-Norris, battled heroin addiction and delved deeper into substance abuse following Pinkett Smith's grandmother's death. This meant she wasn't as available to care for her daughter at this very crucial time.
“"I had to, like, deal with a lot of stressful adult things at a young age. I didn't have the ability to deal with the emotions that were coming with it. I just had to buck up,” Pinkett Smith said.
“Those women that you see [who] you think are so strong, there's this terrified girl underneath. And that's me,” she admitted.
She said that this experience influenced her choice of relationships down the line.
“That's my biggest wound that comes out in all my relationships,” Pinkett Smith said. “I've looked for the craziest kinds of protection. I don't have a really good sense of what's safe, and what's not. I'm either extremely protective or extremely defensive.”
Jada Revealed That Her Mother Didn't Cuddle With Her While She Was Growing Up
In the same episode, Pinkett Smith revealed another issue in her relationship with her mother. According to Pinkett Smith, one of the missing elements of their relationship was physical affection.
“One of the things that was so missing in my relationship with my mother and with Jada was just touch,” Banfield-Norris said.
Pinkett Smith said “cuddles” were uncommon in her relationship with her mother. Banfield-Norris went on to explain why this lack of physical affection was the norm for her.
“Very rarely will you see Jada and I even touch, hug,” Banfield-Norris said. “"It's awkward because we didn't hug in our family. We knew we were loved, but it just wasn't that kind of nurturing touch.”
“She never cuddled with me,” Pinkett Smith said.
Pinkett Smith’s daughter Willow was also present for the conversation. The hosts then discussed Willow’s upbringing and said she was surrounded by more physical affection than her mother. Banfield-Norris said that she would cuddle Willow a lot when she was growing up.
According to her, this was her way of making up for what she missed out on with her daughter. She said that she has regrets about not developing that kind of bond with Pinkett Smith.
“It felt so good to be able to have that, and I never had it. When I had it with you, then I missed it with Jada. I realized how much I miss with her,” Banfield-Nottis told Willow.
Jada Said That Her Pregnancy With Son Jaden Wasn't Planned And It Was A Difficult Time
In 2018, Pinkett Smith revealed to Megyn Kelly on Today that the birth of Jaden, her first son, “wasn’t planned.”
“My life changed quickly,” Pinkett Smith said. “There was a lot of adjustment to make. At that particular time, Will’s career was just taking off and somebody has to hold the fort down at home. It was very challenging and trying to figure out who I was supposed to be in this new life.”
At the time, Pinkett Smith also became a stepmother to Will Smith’s son Trey. She also revealed she put her film career on hold. She said that it felt like she had “given up my freedom and the lifestyle I had been used to.”
“I think that I let a lot of that old Jada go that I didn’t have to,” Smith said about their new lifestyle. “It was my idea of what a mother should be, what I thought being in a family, or being in a partnership was supposed to look like. Instead of looking at myself and going, ‘What it is that I need to make me happy within this new lifestyle.’”
According to Pinkett Smith, her life began improving when she “started to take responsibility for what would make me happy.”
She added, “Having the courage to step outside all the boxes that people thought I should sit within, I got a lot more happy.”
When asked how she felt about the success of her film Girls Trip and the Red Table Talk series, Pinkett Smith said, “It feels good, it really does. It feels good to be able to have my family and myself, along with just my life outside of my family as well.”
She continued, “It feels good to just feel more of a whole woman. And of course I’m still on the journey to complete that but I feel like I have more of who I truly am.”
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